Spiritual Sadhana without experienced Guru is dangerous

Swami Natesananda

On the top of hill in front of our house in Vellore there is Fort and word went round the town that a young Swami had been seen by the Sheppard boys who graze their goats up the hill. People started visiting the Swami. The number of people visiting him rapidly increased and in the course of a fortnight gaslights were seen and it was said the Swamiji was delivering a lecture on " Who am I". The swami was known as Natesananda. The lectures were published. My cousin and I visited the Swamiji. Huge crowd has gathered and he was lecturing. Every week-end there was a gala gathering atop the hill. The Swamiji has gathered around him a number of disciples. There were regular daily Bhajans and singing.
In the house opposite ours lived a malayalee family. The house holder was known as Sadasivam, a clerk in the collector's office. He lived with his wife and mother. The mother was a very orthodox, so orthodox that the servant maid was required to undress, leave her dress on a corner and don the dress given before she can do any work in the house. One day Sadasivam and his mother went up the hill to have a darsan of the Swami. When she saw the swami, she shouted " Hi, Natesa, where were you all these days? Come home. Have forgotten your mother?". The Swami calmly replied "Who are you? I am sorry for you. Peace be with you". When the lady insisted that the swami was her lost son, Natesan, and started pleading with Sadasivam to get him home, the people around took her to be mad. Sadasivaam and his mother returned home.
Sadasivam doubted his mother, used to suggest the Swami could be someone with the looks of his brother Natesan, but his mother would not relent. She insisted that the Swami was her lost son, Natesan. Natesanada was gaining popularity and people from far and near visited him daily. The circle of his disciples increased. One day the Swami Natesananda declared that he intends to do Thapas for a Mandala (40 day period). In the fort there was an ammunition den which was selected for his Thapas. On an Amavasya day (New Moon day) Swami Natesanada entered the den with his disciples singing and dancing. After some time the disciples came out. The entrance to the cave was walled up save for a peep hole in which a glass of milk was to be left once a day for Swami's use. Days rolled by with Swami doing thapas inside and his disciples doing Bhajaans outside. It is said the Milk glass remained untouched many days.
The day for the Swami's coming out arrived. Crowds had gathered in large numbers to have darsan of the Swami. Press reporters, Government officials, and police were present when at the appointed time with pomp and ceremony the disciples started taking down the wall. No sooner than a hole large enough was made than the Swami dashed out shouting "Kill him, Kill him" calling Muslims names (the previous year there was Hindu Muslim riots in the town) and started beating people around. Police intervened and arrested the Swami amid protests from his disciples. Swami Natesananda was taken to the hospital and given sedatives to quieten him.
Sadasivan's mother insisted that the Swami was her son and prevailed on Sadasivam to bring him home. He was brought and lived with Sadasivam. The Swami's behaviour was peculiar. He would sing and dance with his only disciple now, known as Maruthi. Suddenly he would become stark naked and say that it was Rudhrswaroopa and all should prostrate him. His mother cannot see him naked in a family house and would ask Sadasivan to intervene. Sadasivan would bring a cane and Swami Natesananda will pick the clothes and put them on. In a few days his disciples gathered and they started going around the town singing and dancing and doing bhajans. A few days later when they were going along Thennamara Theru, ladies of the house came out to watch, the Swami ran after a lady shouting " Murugha, Murugha (one of South Indian deities) where had you been, take me". The lady ran inside and the Swami followed her. There was pandemonium. Police arrived and arrested the Swami. The Swami was declared mentally derailed.
It turned out that Collector Velludi was Sadasivan's brother-in-law. On Sadasivans mother's request Collector Velludi put Swami Natesananda in his out-house and had him treated for a few days. Finding no improvement Natesan (no longer swami) was admitted to Perambur Mental Hospital. He recovered after a few months treatment and came back to live with his mother and brother. In due course he was employed in collectors office. He was a double M.A - Literature and Philosophy.
Spiritual Sadhana without an experienced Guru, it is said, is dangerous.